Aftermath
by SoldierPup
Summary: After all is said and done, even heroes can have nightmares. And even heroes can have their own angels to help them deal with the Aftermath. Shepard/Ashley one-shot


When they were together, nothing seemed to matter. The war, the other races, even other people. All the problems fade away until morning, then both would put on their armor, strap on their guns and move on, do the missions come back and start all over. This time though, Shepard felt like this would be it. There was no coming back to the same routine, probably ever. Shepard reluctantly opened his eyes to the dark room before him. The large skylight that was above him was the first thing he saw. He glanced to his right, noting his Omni-Tool, and the clock giving the time, ship time. He let out a long sigh into the silent room before looking to his left.

She was curled up next to him, slightly kicking with a frown on her face, her worry lines deep in between two furrowed brows. Shepard took one big inhale moving his hand gently down and then back up her back. From just under her shoulder blades, to the small of her back, again and again. He stared at her face as it turned from the frown and worried look, to a more blank one. Her leg stopped twitching under the sheets, and instead she let out small short exhales, instead of what it seemed like before with gulping deep inhales.

His chest was being used as a pillow and his arm somehow being held down by her weight. Shepard had to formulate a plan on how he would get up without jostling or waking her. His lips curl into a small smile when the little snores are heard from his side.

She was quite breathtaking really. Brown hair and brown eyes, thick lips and a devious grin that fit her so well in most scenarios. Her hair long and normally was kept in it's trademark bun, until recently she seemed to let her hair down and flow, maybe even grow. Her hair now covered most her face from the way she was sleeping and tossing around in the night after... other adventures were concluded.

God he loved her, but there really wasn't much else he could say to prove it. He was more a man of words, in a normal situation. But when it came to Ashley Williams he fell flat. In more ways than one they were complete opposites. While Ash had a witty way about her, but it sometimes caused trouble. Shepard kept his words always calm, always reassuring, and rarely lost his temper. He could remember in vivid details all the times he flipped his lid.

_Shit.. this is... really happening... It's almost the end. Soon we'll either be rebuilding our lives, or..._ He felt a lump in his throat for what seemed the umpteenth time._ To think, all of this happened in such a short time to me, but it seriously snowballed.. Now.. what if we fail?_

Ashley stirred next to him causing him to break from his thoughts as her eyes slowly opened.

"Mornin'," she says with a smile, rubbing her eyes with her hands.

"Good morning to you, too." Shepard replied, letting himself give a squeeze to hug her closer to him.

"Sleep well? No nightmares?" Ash asked, genuine concern on her face.

"Sorta.." Shepard answered. "How about you?" he asked putting the light on her for a change.

"I.." there was a pause, "I slept fine."

"That's a lie," Shepard says as gently as he could poking her side playfully. Still Ashley's head raised to meet his face as she scooted herself to his height.

"And what you said, wasn't?" she accused, hostility emitted from her. Shepard opened his mouth to respond with a '_I wasn't lying'_ instead he closed his mouth and sighed, rubbing his free hand down his face.

"Of course, I had another... dream," Shepard said shifting to a sitting position, relinquishing his arm from Ash. "Same one this time... Except." Shepard pauses and lets out a groan. "This time, I chased the boy into my own arms, and caught fire, _with_ him. That's never happened before." He hung his head, using his hands as support.

"What does it mean?"

"I'm not sure." he lied. To him, he thought it meant he was destined to die, but every time thought about the hurt in Ashley's eyes at their reunion, after he was resurrected. He didn't ever want to put her through that again. To be honest, he thought about breaking it off with her only because he knew that in the end his survival rate was near zero. He never wanted to put her through that.

In the end, he was just too afraid, he brought up the saying 'break it off' and the look in her eyes. He couldn't do that. He loved her too much, he loved her so much it hurt. When she was near death on Mars, he almost snapped. He rushed her to the Med-Bay pleading with Liara to do something about her state. He just wanted to hold her, let his tears heal her like in all those stupid fairy-tales. But that was real, and it was *real close, too close. Then she was made the second human Spectre, protecting the Council during the Cerberus Coup, he just pleaded with her in his mind and eyes, to believe him. He didn't want to shoot her, and he didn't want Garrus to shoot her either. He ordered his team to stand down, even putting his weapons in his holster, with more begging from his eyes, Ash saw reason. Then, that bastard Udina tried to shoot her, as she helped the Asari councilor up. Shepard never drew his pistol so fast, with dead accuracy with such precision, and put one right between Udina's eyes.

Shepard felt really selfish, but, he couldn't move on from Ash, and he_ really_ didn't want her to move on from him. So when she invited him for a get-together on the Citadel, he jumped in the elevator and made his way for Apollo's Cafe. The kiss they shared after Ashley nervously asked where they stood, he filled with so much of _everything_ Shepard was left breathless when they parted.

"Listen to me, Shepard, you are just one man going up against the whole galaxy, and I have to admit, you're doing a damn good job at holding it together. I just wish you told me what was wrong." Ashley says softly, pulling Shepard down onto the bed, before swinging her legs over him and straddling the Commander.

She brings her face nose to nose with Shepard's. With the lightest brush of her lips on his, and Shepard could already feel the warm breath as he sucked air in through his teeth. Her hair acted like a curtain to the rest of the world sheltering themselves as they kissed.

"I'll tell you, if you tell me what you were dreaming about," Shepard whispered. Ashley sat straight, almost board-like after his sliding off of Shepard's chest, she brought the covers up to her chin, and her gaze was cloudy.

Shepard frowns but rolls to his side, and uses his hand to hold his head up. He just gazes at Ashley, waiting for her to say something.

"I dreamt of.. your death, again."

"Again?"

"Yes,_ again_," Ash sighed. "You order me into the airlock and run to save Joker but I get out, and see you get... killed... right in front of me... Instead of just.. hearing about it, I see it." Ash looks at the ceiling looking at the skylight, her voice cracking every few words, and tears in her eyes. She rubs at them angrily. "It's so fucking _childish_, but.."

"It's not childish, Ash. It's something that hurt you, it isn't just going to vanish with my presence." Shepard soothed. a reassuring hand was wrapped in her hair, gently gliding over her scalp.

"But... this time was different, and I don't know how, it jumped me to the front of the dream, this time I could actually move, and speak, unlike before, and I get you to.. abandon Joker and the ship... You wouldn't even look at me." Ash says softly.

"Ash..." Shepard said. No words could possibly defuse this situation, Ashley was opening up to him, after all the morbid thoughts he was literally just* thinking about, and then Ashley drops this bombshell on him.

"It's... The thing was, if it meant that Joker died and instead I got to spend those two years with you, I would've done it. I hate to say it, but... If it meant tha-" Ashley was cut off with Shepard's lips crashing on hers. He tried to say everything in that kiss, even reassure her it was alright.

He pulled back just enough to speak, his hand reaching for her cheek.

"I love you, Ashley," Shepard said, he used his other hand to intertwine his and Ashley's hand together.

"I love you, too." Ash answered, smiling.

Shepard stands slowly from the bed, releasing his hold on Ash, and then walks to his bathroom. As he closes the door to his restroom he can't help but mumble to himself.

"I will not during this war, I will die _after." _

With that pledge to himself, he walked back into his room, put his armor on, and told Ash to get ready to hit that Cerberus base.

"Yes, Sir!" Ashley replied with a smirk.

**A/N I hope you guys liked it. Just another one-shot as I am once again suddenly inspired by. Some serious fluff.. but remember Reviews are awesome and seriously help me! It gave me inspiration to get writing! Until next time**


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